At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there was a trapeze. enough said
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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