I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize