In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
