mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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