I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
