If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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