Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
