Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
