My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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