It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
