Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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