So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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