if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
