ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
