from now on my penis is your penis
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
