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I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
