she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
