I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
