How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
