Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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