how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
