I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
