I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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