You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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