I think my fart just growled at me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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