I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
