if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
