I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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