Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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