I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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