we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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