She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dicks are not precious.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
