he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
