Will you blow on my dice?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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