she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
then he tried to convert me to islam
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Found the puke drawer
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
