You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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