Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
