how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
