capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
handjob tips. give me some.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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