Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
