whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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