Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
