okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im six kinds of drunk right now
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
