you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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