i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
