That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
