Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
