grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
