That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
