yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
