I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
