Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
