I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
